how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
