Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
