Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
