return my video game
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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