So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
