yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
