Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
