im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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