what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
