Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
