I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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