I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
