Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
