Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
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Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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