i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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