he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
