What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
