not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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