I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
