So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
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My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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