It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
