yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
