I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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