I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
