My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
