Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
