Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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