i just google imaged poop.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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