His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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