Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
