fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
