Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
