i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
