let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
