so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
