U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
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We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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