I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize