you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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