I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
