I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
