Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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