Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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