Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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