he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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