Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
