My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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