Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
