she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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