So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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