the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
