Say something about gay babies.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
