I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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