i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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