Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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