Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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