Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
