Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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