I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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