Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
