Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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