walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize