Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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