Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to make out with him forever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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