So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
