So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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