So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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