UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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