Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
