these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
