dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
