the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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